Well now that the cat is out of the bag, here is the deal. . .
We were SO not planning on having another one. In fact I was in the process of making appointments to get a birth control implant in my arm, when my body started sending me some disturbing signs. After 4 babies I have learned to recognize them very quickly, so I took a test and sure enough.
At first I wanted to find some fun way of telling Terry because, planned or not, we are going to have a new baby. But about 3 hours after I took the test the reality of it hit me and I lost it! Yes it was not pretty, ugly crying and freaking out for about 4 hours, poor Terry. He of course was thrilled and did his best at reassuring. I continued to cry even at the mention of it for the next 2 weeks, sorry anyone who had to deal with that!
Then I went through a sort of denial acceptance, which is the stage I am in now. Depending on the day I am fine or I am crying or I am just sure there will be some divine intervention and I really won't have a baby in August, I know I am going straight to hell, but maybe I will be sane when I get there. The kids of course are thrilled and I am putting on my happy, isn't this exciting face, but really, well you know. Anyway, wow, this totally sounds like a major downer post, but hey just keeping it real in the Davis world.
p.s. I know that when this baby gets here I will wonder how I ever felt like we were done with out it, but I still need some time to wrap my mind around the idea of being, mother to the fifth!
7 comments:
I totally understand! It is so hard to be reminded that you are not in control, isn't it? You guys are amazing and I bet you will get used to the idea.
Hey Sara
Not sure if you're getting these or not, but I SO relate with your last blog. Josh and I were "done" after our first two (who are only fifteen months apart)... well low and behold last Feb. my body was telling me all the same things yours does. I do not miss a period, and if I do, I know I'm pregnant. To say the least, I was not thrilled or excited one bit, but cried at the thought of having not only to be pregnant again, but having three kids under three seemed all too overwhelming. It seriously took me until the very end of my pregnancy with Kasey to feel a little excited/butterflies. I think I stayed in the denial stage until I pretty much had him. Even as I was in the hospital I still couldn't believe we were going to have another baby in a matter of a few hours. I can remember feeling so guilty that I wasn't excited about this baby, it wasn't his fault after all. Now that he is eleven weeks old and life seems to have some routine back in it, I have now realized there is a reason for him to be here. Our family feels complete, and as crazy as each day is, I love being a mommy to all of them. I would love to catch up more (this is getting too long)... my email is katieheidrick@yahoo.com
Hope you're feeling ok:)
Katie (Zelnar)
Congrats! I can't really say I know how you feel, because obvioulsy I don't have any yet, but in a way I know what you mean about crying because if I were to find out Blake and I were expecting (right now) I would bawl. Not because I don't want kids, I do, around 4 ish if I can plan it, but we want to be married at least a year or two before so I feel for ya :) But you and Terry have beautiful children so it'll be another cutie. Speaking of cute, thanks for the card and pictures, they all look so good!
Ok sorry this is a book long, but congrats and we love you guys! Hope you had a good Christmas :)
It's ok to feel this way. It IS ok! You are one of the very best mom's that I know. You and Terry together are paramount! We are only women, and sometimes (ok alot of the time) we doubt ourselves and our ability to handle all the situations that have been given to us. It can be very overwhelming. How do you think I feel? Now I have to find a YCL leader who can 1/2 way measure up to you. I will definitly need the Lord's help. Back to you...When that little spirit comes into your heart, all will be right. It is ok to feel how your feeling right now, just keep faith that Heavenly Father will make sure to help you deal with this. He loves you.
You guys are some of the best parents I know. Of course Heavenly Father is going to send you all you will let him, even if he's got to sneak 'em in before you do anything to permanently prevent it!
It's gonna be great! That's what I keep telling myself when I have a hard time believing #4 is on it's way for us, and he'll only be 18 months younger than Miles.
Congratulations!
Congrats to you guys!! I saw that oven on the last post and was so confused. I just thought you wanted to add in there that you like to cook? I can't believe I missed it! But what great timing eh? Graeson is a great age. At least it's not 10 years from now that you got this little suprise :)
Hope you're feeling well!!!
Congratulations! I can't relate to the shock and horror because every child I had was planned. But If I were to find out today that I was expecting number 5. I would freak out!
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